Stare at the Wall!

I've posted this a few other places over the years, but I figured since it's April Fool's Day and I've read a few too many "Old School" screeds* lately, it might be fun to do it again here with a few updates. So...

Tired of cumbersome rules and oppressive storytelling getting in the way of your role-playing? Disgusted with game designers making you write down your character's special abilities? Are you ready to set your imagination free?

Then maybe you're ready for Stare at the Wall!

To play Stare at the Wall, you need only a wall, our game books, a lot of dice, and your imagination! There are no rules to constrain your fantasy, no story to distract you from the sound of dice rolling, and no GM to bother you about "game balance." You don't even have to include other players, unless you want to use the award-winning Stare at Your Opponent one-on-one combat rules. Just listen to what people are saying!

"Ever since I started gaming, I've been searching for the perfect, most rules-lite way to play, and now I've found it! I'll never struggle through the intricacies of a rule-based game again! Thanks!"
-- Norm Bendler, Joplin, Missouri

"My friends and I love how easy it is to run Stare at the Wall without preparation. Sometimes we start a pick-up game without even meaning to. This game rocks!"
-- Jeb Redding, Buffalo, New York

"I've always been frustrated with the way other games try to impose their politically correct dogma through the rules, spoiling the historical flavor by encouraging women to take part in adventures and speak without permission. With Stare at the Wall, my imagination can carry me away to a world where I'm beaten and raped every day, just like a real slave girl!"
-- Ted Pickford, Red Bluff, Alabama

And if you like Stare at the Wall, you'll love what our line of quality role-playing aids can do for your game!

• Stare at the Wall Folding Chairs ($179.99 for a set of three)
• Stare at the Wall Collapsible Privacy Fence ($643.50) - includes "I'm not catatonic; I'm just Staring at the Wall" placard.
• Stare at the Wall Eyedrops ($29.75)
• Stare at the Wall Vinyl Bib ($22.50) - a must for all you droolers!
• Stare at the Wall Removable Wall Cover Set ($163.50) - 5 hypnagogic patterns to get your game going!

Keep an eye out for our variant Stare at the Dice rules and our new boxed set, Stare at the Wall and Masturbate (batteries not included), coming soon!

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*Not that I'm categorically opposed to "Old School."  Some good stuff has come of it.